Author Archives: philip

New! Improved! Google Analytics v.5

No snarky allusive post title today! This is the biggest overhaul to the GA interface since I left Google, and as such it's been quite fun to have it appear suddenly, rather than in the dribs and drabs of internal beta-testing (or dogfooding as the poets in Google product management would have it), during which […]

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The ‘Field of Dreams’ Syndrome

Of all the saccharine maxims of Hollywood, none are more corrosive to the soul of an online business than the ones espoused in 1989's 'Field of Dreams'. A story of irresponsible land-management and hallucinogenic corn, the film follows Kevin Kostner as he pivots from his traditional business model, to one based on disrupting the afterlife […]

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A Warning To The Incurious

It was Christmas, and so naturally my thoughts turned to the ghostly and the dread-fuelled. To M.R. James, to be precise. The BBC's second shot at 'Oh, Whistle And I'll Come To You, My Lad' led to a marathon re-watching of the Beeb's 1970s Christmas Ghost Story productions, which in turn, led to the source […]

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David Foster Wallace & How Not To Annoy Your Customers…

In the acknowledgements of his 1997 essay collection 'A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again', David Foster Wallace bestowed interstitial nicknames on some of the people who helped him along the way, the last of which is given to his (I think) sister, Amy ("Just How Much Reader-Annoyance Are You Shooting For Here Exactly?") […]

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The Kitchen Async

I don't believe in hell, but the road to obscurity certainly seems to be paved with good intentions. Apologies to the 40.32% of visitors to my blog who are returning and have found nothing new for a while; I will be better in future. Today's topic, so excruciatingly telegraphed by my headline, is  Google Analytics' […]

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Introducing Flounce Rate

Last week I did my best to add gothic elucidation to the deceptively staid and uncontroversial-sounding concept of 'Bounce Rate'. This week I am going to attempt something slightly different: I want to introduce a new concept, a twin for the first-born Bounce. Say hello to Flounce Rate If Bounce Rate deals with the mewling […]

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What Is Bounce Rate And Why Is It Scary?

Rather than just write about whatever happens to pop into my head when I sit down to compose a new blog post, I've decided to embrace my own mantras, and let the data decide what I write about this time. My site hasn't been around for very long yet, but already looking at the keywords […]

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Selling Mum by the pound…

There were a couple of things I intended to write about this week, but then I saw this advert, and changed my mind. Aside from being a staggeringly well made piece of television, it's also an interesting example of how to use emotion to reach a cynical and jaded – perhaps even fearful – audience. […]

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Glengarry Glen Ross & The Romance Of Selling

I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch & Murray, and I'm here on a mission of mercy… "Glengarry Glen Ross" is one of my favorite films, and while this isn't the place to review it, I do think it's worthy of a little attention. David Mamet's script almost makes a fetish of the twists […]

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Persuasion, epistemology, gnosis

'… there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know…' Donald Rumsfeld, former U.S. Secretary of Defense […]

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